Do you feel that something is wrong in your relationship but can’t put your finger on what that is? Toxic relationships creep up on you without your even realizing it, like a silent flame burning the surface of your life, sucking the energy out of you, confusing you, and leaving you wondering what is real. One moment you’re basking in heat, love, and intimacy, and the next you’re racing through emotional landmines, wondering what happened.
Maybe you’ve tried to rekindle the romance by speaking your partner’s love language, but for some reason, it just isn’t working. Can you listen to your gut and catch the warning signs before it’s too late? Here are 6 relationship red flags to be aware of – and what to do if you catch them.
Gaslighting and Manipulation
Gaslighting is one of the biggest red flags in any relationship. Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation that causes the other person to question their own reality. If someone is gaslighting you, they’re trying to intentionally and maliciously confuse you.
What gaslighting looks like in a relationship:
- Saying things like, “I never said that. You’re crazy.”
- Denying what you know to be true.
- Saying things like, “You’ve lost it. Nobody else thinks this way about me but you.”
Invalidating Feelings
Another major red flag in a relationship is if you find your partner regularly invalidating your feelings. If you express how something makes you feel and they say things like, “You’re being too sensitive” or “It’s not the big of a deal” it’s a clear sign they don’t respect your emotions.
We are meant to feel safe to confide in our partner. If your significant other continuously blames you for how you feel – this is an unsafe environment. It’s natural to have feelings and to express them to who we are in a relationship. Over time, you’ll be less likely to let your partner know how you feel. In turn, this will cause you to withdraw and feel on edge as you hold your emotions in. Conversely, healthy couples, value communication, trust, and common enjoyable activities that bring them closer together.
Inconsistent Actions
Do their actions match their words? Consistency is key to a healthy relationship. While we all make mistakes here and there, if your partner regularly isn’t acting on what they say – it’s a red flag. This means that they aren’t being honest when they tell you what they will do. Instead, they use words to try and appease you without having any real intention to follow through.
When a person never keeps their word, it may be an indication that they never demonstrated love genuinely, therefore you feel neglected and not respected. This behavior is a form of deceit and disrespect, making it challenging to know what to trust. In essence, inconsistency in a relationship means your partner is showing you different versions of themselves. How could this ever be authentic, and how can you ever know what to trust? This is why inconsistency in a relationship is a glaring red flag.
Dishonest or Sneaky Behavior
Do you ever catch your partner in little lies? Unfortunately, this usually leads to bigger ones. Oftentimes, toxic partners will start with small lies to see how tolerant you are of them. As time goes on, they will push your boundaries even more. They will see just how much they can get away with.
Dishonesty isn’t acceptable in any relationship. Yet, there are times when we make mistakes. However, if you find that you can’t trust your partner, this is a huge red flag. Trust is the foundation of any relationship. If you don’t have that, there’s nothing you can build from it. Take it as a sign to leave before it gets any worse.
Disrespecting Boundaries
If your partner constantly disregards your boundaries, then it is a red flag that you cannot overlook. Respectful relationships are founded on respect, and boundaries uphold that respect. Consider these boundaries to ensure that you feel safe, valued, and respected in your relationship.
If your partner is not listening to your needs, ignoring your calls, or pressuring you into something you don’t want to do, then for sure they are not paying heed to your emotions or your well-being. It can lead you to a point of bitterness, anxiety, and even depression. If you are continuously disrespected or abandoned, you must re-examine the relationship and take control of your emotional well-being.
Emotional Unavailability
Emotional unavailability is also a subtle but ruinous warning signal for any relationship. If your partner is emotionally unavailable, it can be difficult to establish a deep, meaningful relationship with them. There are different ways of expressing emotional unavailability, ranging from being distant to not responding, to being unemotional. You might be going out of your way, trying to get your partner to open up, express their feelings, or even be more present in the relationship.
But whatever you do, you just can’t seem to reach them. It is completely exhausting and maddening, and you feel unheard, unseen, and unappreciated. If you continually feel like you’re bearing the weight of the relationship emotionally, it may indicate that your partner is not willing or unable to meet your emotional needs.
Conclusion
Recognizing the red flags in a relationship can transform your life. Paying attention to these warning signs will make you better equipped to handle the intricacy of love and relationships. Remember, a healthy relationship is built on respect, trust, and communication – notice the green flags that point to a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Empower your emotional well-being and take charge of your happiness.
